Everyone seems to think it's incredibly cool to be living out a feral lifestyle, but truth be told the more freedom I gain the more lost I feel at times. It's like wandering off of a paved path while hiking through a vast forest. The further you walk off trail and deeper you go the harder it is to find your way back out. However, I started realizing this was my chance to pave my own path. Explore roads less traveled. Discover a world through my own personal perspective. This was an opportunity to break free of my daily routines and habits which then would allow me the space to grow, heal, and awaken in new ways.
I have crossed paths with countless souls trekking through different areas of the same forests, figuratively speaking. Most of them have had a destination set in place, making their quest far more clear ahead. I keep being reminded by my fellow travelers that it is okay not to have it all figured out. Life should be taken one step at time. Most express their envy for my sense of liberation and wish they could be doing what I have been doing. But other's can be reminded that they too are just one decision away from living a completely different life. You are the caregiver to your soul, the one in control of your happiness and destiny.
At first it felt exhilarating and freeing. No responsibilities other than to make sure I had somewhere to sleep and something to eat each day. I saved up thousands of dollars and sold everything I owned, so I had a pretty big safety net in the beginning. There wasn't a play book on what I was doing, I'm sure I could of found one out there, if I had better planned ahead. I stumbled onto this journey, yet that made it all the more exciting. Not knowing where tomorrow would lead me. It was journey into the unknown and a world full of possibilities.
I was listening to the whispers of my heart and letting it guide me through this wild venture. Along the way I learned what it meant and felt like to surrender. I detached myself from the narratives I told myself and the outcomes. I stopped forcing things that no longer felt right or good internally. I built a raft and started floating down the river of life. It was time to stop going against the current and to start going with the flow of it. I was going to see where the wind would take me. A delusional, unpredictable, and chaotic odyssey. I was doing something that many of my friends, family, and co-workers dreamed of doing. The constant feedback that I was inspiring so many people felt like a huge sense of validation that I wasn't entirely insane for what I was doing and that fueled me to keep going.
Every day became an incredible story and a core memory that began to uncover parts of myself I hadn't known were there. What started as an intention to move to Hawaii ended up as a solo backpacking escapade around South East Asia. I first felt intensely drawn to Indonesia, specifically Bali. Maybe it was social media, maybe it was a calling.
There's something about this island that serves as a healing portal filled with spiritual energies all over. Many flock here to offer or attend holistic practices and retreats. People on the same spiritual journey always seem to find themselves guided to Ubud, which I learned from a native translates to mean "medicine". I had felt an odd sensation throughout my body once I had arrive to this city. I quickly learned how much power can come from a location, which is created from the energies of others. Our environment plays a huge role on those who we attract into our lives and around us. Ubud is magnetic for those who are on a spiritual journey of enlightenment as is has a high frequency for love and healing. I felt the magic here.
I didn't realize how much of a soulful journey I was on until I was in the mix of it all. There were parts I hadn’t uncovered or realized about myself yet. Bali was a whole new chapter of my self-discovery. I was finally stepping into the light of who I have always been, with the help of other’s putting a spotlight onto me. All the love I began giving to myself started attracting the same kind of love back to me. The projections of my own thoughts were being mirrored back to me. Like magic, all these beautiful connections started forming the same bonds I was creating within myself. Everyday I started expressing love to myself, finding constant gratitude, and focused on living in the moment. Miraculously it resulted in receiving that exact same energy from strangers who quickly became a deep connection. I was gaining friends who told me they loved me and expressed gratitude for the energy I brought into their lives. I always knew our thoughts played a huge outcome in our reality but never like this. I partly set out on this wild adventure so I could connect with different communities of people, and I got all of that and more.
It wasn’t until I began attending countless guided meditations and unique experiences such as Light Sound Vibration therapy, Ancient Sound Healing, and Blue Lotus Ceremonies when I began to connect to my highest self. I had never had more clear visions of my path ahead until these moments when I sat long enough to listen and connect to my inner self. The more I paid attention to what my soul was yearning for, the more I felt like I was meeting myself.
My heart wanted to continue traveling to new countries and exploring new cultures. So that is exactly what I did! I explored more of Indonesia and then visited Singapore, Vietnam, Thailand, and Norway. I spent 9 months getting caught up in the wander.
Throughout this time, I had a lot of time to self-reflect on who I am, who I don't want to be, who I have been, and who I want to become. I've come to realize the core root of many of my beliefs, traumas, triggers, behaviors, and patterns. I've been working on my mental dream board for the life I want to have and trying to figure out how to become in alignment with the version of myself that is living it all out.
I think everyone can relate to that sense of feeling lost while trying to figure out where our lives are heading. Something I learned through all the chaos of traveling was how to better focus on the present moments and happiness. Many people tend to be stuck on details from the past and question the possibilities for the future. This is where we start to get lost. It's where I fell back into the old habits of brainwashed thinking. At some point in my traveling, my funds starting dropping really low and I began worrying about money and the direction I was heading. I had no energy to sit down and explore options so I dug myself a deeper hole. I reverted back to my old tendencies of overthinking which just caused a full body of anxiety to fill me. I felt pressured to have everything figured out to the point I couldn't decide.
I'm starting to realize the real adventure in my life has always been about me wandering aimlessly and finding my way continuously. While my curious mind fueled me, my roaming heart directed me. I challenged myself by not planning the journey so far ahead. Majority of my days I spent living in the moment and hardly planning more than 1-3 days ahead. I wanted to stay open to the possibility of anything happening. I met a handful of people who came along and redirected me to places I had never considered. Had everything been planned out, I would of missed out on some really amazing and unforgettable experiences. I felt love like never before and now have new perspectives of life and the world around me. This journey has been the greatest gift that I allowed to come my way. The money will come back, but the time we loose can never be given back. My biggest take away is to love and live like you'll die tomorrow, because we don't know if the morning will ever come.
I listened to my heart and let my curiosity be my compass. I was curious to explore what could be for me and realized what wasn't meant for me. I discovered what environments I best thrived in and which ones I didn't. I found activities that brought me so much peace and understood which ones drained me. I am learning who I was before the world got their hands on me... but I'll be the first to admit that I still don't have it all figured out.
I've seen sunsets around the world, over the ocean, in the mountains, and way in the clouds... and I'm still uncovering the mysteries of the world. Who am I, why am I here, what's my purpose, am I on the right path... Truth is, I don't think there's really any answers. Life is just all about enjoying the passages of time, loving who we can for however long we get, and feeling all the things we possibly can.
When we take enough time to appreciate all the beauty in the world and find gratitude for all we have in our life, things start to feel better. I stand by believing things always come together. Whenever you're feeling lost in the wander, just remember to take time to enjoy where you're at right now. Life is what we make of it, so make it an amazing one.
Sarah Smith Captures | The Nomad Narratives © 2024. All Rights Reserved.